don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
