this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
