Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
