i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
