your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
