Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
