why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
