perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Houston, we have a squirter
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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