True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
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