don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
