I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
