Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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