Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
i now understand why vodka
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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