You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I just had sex on a roof
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
