Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
