She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
