youre lurking in front of me
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
