there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
