I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Randomize
