It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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