why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
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