i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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