Buhtt sex?
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
