I hate your face
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
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