Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize