we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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