nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
