So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
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