i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
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