I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
