a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize