You smell like stripper and shame
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
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