Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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