The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
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