What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
