Pappa wants mamma naked
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I think I won the penis lottery.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
