I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
