Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
