New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Say something about gay babies.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
It's just like the Real World with babies
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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