She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
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