i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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