The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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