I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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