Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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