My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
