we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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