the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
