My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
