sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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