I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
