White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
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