How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
