I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
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