This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
