I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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