I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
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